So, it’s been a while. It is customary, when a blogger returns from a long absence, to explain one’s absence and give an accounting of one’s whereabouts. I am not sure I have a good one to offer, except that, around the time when I stopped posting, a lot of really good things started to happen in my life, and blogging–which began as a therapeutic exercise–got boxed out. At some point, last Spring, I fell in love with my dissertation and was writing so much that I had little energy left for blogging. In addition, I had two articles accepted by excellent refereed journals. I won a fellowship that allowed me to spend the summer at an archive finishing my dissertation. I also got funding that relieves me of my teaching responsibilities this semester, and as of three days ago, my defense was scheduled for mid-November. I am putting the finishing touches on the final draft and poring over a list of 60ish job openings and postdocs in my field.
In short, I am in a very good place right now, and that, frankly, is a little terrifying. I have always, frankly, had a modest estimation of my own abilities as a researcher, writer, and academic in general. I realize now that, in a way, that modest estimation has been a form of psychological protection. It’s going to sound really obvious, but if I don’t expect much of myself, then I can’t be disappointed. Success, therefore, is more than a little scary. Though I don’t think of myself as superstitious, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. It hasn’t yet, but there’s a long, bleak job hunting season ahead of me and plenty of time for the universe to take its revenge.
Does this little bout of navel-gazing presage a return to blogging? I am not sure. I am, however, impressed that this site continues to get a few hundred hits a day. You people have patience.