So, this has definitely been Usage Week here at Shitty First Drafts. I thought I would put a cap on it by posting one of the handouts I use to teach copy editing for readability in my class. Despite all of my ranting about Grammar Douchery this week, I do actually think that it’s important to address grammatical concepts in the classroom, but I find it works better if you talk about them in the context of readability and clarity. The exercise below is pretty self-explanatory. I gave this out last time I was teaching Dreiser’s Sister Carrie, but you don’t need to know the literary references in order to get the point.
A good way to use this worksheet is to put students in groups and have them revise the examples together. Then have each group write their revisions on a blackboard so that they can see the range of workable alternative constructions.
And if you’re bored this weekend and want to play along in comments, I support that!
Editing for Readability
Though the rules of grammar may seem arbitrary, complicated, and counter-intuitive, the function of grammar and punctuation is simply to make our writing more readable. The following sentences demonstrate a variety of problems that impair readability. As a group, work your way through the examples and see if you can identify the problem and correct the sentence to make it more intelligible.
Possible errors (each sentence may contain more than one of these):
- Dangling or misplaced modifiers (the modifying word or phrase seems attached to an inappropriate object).
- Pronouns without a clear antecedent
- Insufficient/weak punctuation (Run-on sentence, comma splice)
- Excess or inappropriate punctuation (sentence fragment)
- Wordiness, redundancy
1) Shallow. Naïve. Materialistic. Words that describe Dreiser’s character. Carrie Meeber.
2) A sprawling city with a variety of pleasures, Carrie Meeber fell in love with the city of Chicago.
3) Hurstwood is a man who knows what he wants which is fine food the company of wealthy men and celebrities and the love of a beautiful woman like Carrie, for him she is merely another possession worth having.
4) Carrie doesn’t really want a husband preferring instead the material pleasures his money can provide.
5) Hurstwood and Drouet went to the theatre, where he realized he wanted to be with Carrie forever.
6) Another aspect is that Carrie seems more interested in what Drouet wears than other qualities.
7) It has been said that Carrie is a an example of the New Woman, a type of modern woman who makes a living independently without the support of a husband, oftentimes entering into jobs and occupations that were previously dominated by men or considering unacceptable for women for a variety of reasons having to do with social norms and traditional morals.
8) While looking for a job; Carrie is turned away by shop owners repeatedly.
9) Carrie is a beautiful woman with excellent taste in clothing, who proves to be a talented actress, this is why Hurstwood falls in love with her.
10) Ultimately, it has been observed that readers of Sister Carrie generally sympathize with the hapless Hurstwood more than they do with her, abandoning him to fend for himself at the end of the novel.