As I recall, at about 1:30 a.m., I received a direct, immediate revelation that told me how to make my current dissertation draft awesome. It was all so clear. Entire paragraphs seemed to appear before my eyes, and sitting here at my kitchen table, lucid and awake, I feel certain that if I had gotten out of bed and opened my laptop, I would have been taking dictation from God. And then I would have been able to rest in the assurance that yes, I will finish grad school on schedule. But no, no I did not. Exhausted and thinking about all the work I needed to do today, I chose sleep over transcendence, and now I’m sitting here at the kitchen table on my second cup of tea trying to figure out how to make the conclusion to my second chapter less shitty. It’s possible that if I want to become a better writer, I’m just going to have to become a less responsible person, the type of person who stays up til 4:00 a.m. writing and then sleeps til noon.
Though chances are that if I had gotten out of bed last night, it would have been like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry wakes up to write down a joke that came to him in his sleep but can’t make sense out of it the next morning.